That unfamiliar feeling

when thoughts race and keys keep falling anything she sees melts away the faces blow up but i don't remember eating any brownies or falling into the rabbit hole but here i am again trying to make out the words that are telling me how to function and do what i am supposed to think i want to do and so as i stare i begin to make out a reflection only unsure if it is mine or if i'm having a "quantum leap" experience maybe something was wrong with the coffee maybe the food i ate was expired this couldn't be real but this announcement tells me i cannot do anything i want a cigarette and i don't even smoke no throwing confetti no listening to music what is this hell that i'm in just tell us to lay on the benches bones digging in can't get comfortable my head feels like a dried sponge that will break what has it absorbed this place we're in is a painting these things don't look real but somehow i have stepped into the painting and here i am i can sit on these colors. i thought it was a poster. rushing sounds like a tornado announcements just my airplane to take me far away at an unnatural speed like we used to ride on horses but i always preferred a bicycle so grateful for the wheel so grateful for these planes it is a time to be thankful all the same isn't that why i came back but i'll go back to my pretend world i'm not dead but you haven't seen me he was gone for so long i am i lover of the wanders i wish boys would stop trying to make out with me how come i have to break up with people i'm not even dating where is my plane i want to get to the place i'm trying to make home but i miss you